The Cost of the Lost

He wasn’t so matured enough to understand her importance in his life. She was a fighter, she fought with it for almost a year but, life had some other plans for her. In fact life had no plans at all. Life parted ways with her. She lost it, she lost her life. She had cancer. Cancer can be defined as blood-forming tissues, encumbering the body’s ability to fight infection. But, how would you define when someone loses their life, causing cancer? Would you be able to define the pain one is suffering due to cancer? Would you be able to define the life of a person who has lost someone because of cancer? No, right? He never knew what is losing a life, how is he going to understand what has caused her to lose her life.

He was standing by a wall confused but, he was still crying. People said she will never come back. It was a not a normal day for him. She was laid in front of him with a hell lot of crowd around her. She was covered by wreaths, her nose stuffed with cotton balls, strong smell of flowers, perfumes and lighting joss sticks badly straining his head. She is still lying there motionless. His thoughts kept asking him, will she never come back? He recalled the other day when she while caressing his hair said, “Why do you trouble me so much, you know I get worried for you when I don’t see you around? Next time if you don’t come when I call your name, I will not talk to you” He said, “Okay mummy, I will not trouble you anymore”. She hugged him tight and planted lot of kisses on his cheeks and forehead. “Won’t these things ever happen with me again? Will she not call my name again? Will she not hug me, kiss me, and feed me?” His thoughts started troubling him.

 What is it stopping him to understand her importance, why don’t he understand that she was way more important than all this. Is it because he was just EIGHT? An eight year old boy, how much matured can he be? Losing a mother at such tiny age can take him to wrong. Will his father be able to replace his mother? Will he be able to bring up their child well?

A year passed since he lost his mother. He was in standard 3^rd then; he is still in same the class. He was detained because he failed that year. He had a new bunch of friends now not just in his class but in his locality too. They shifted to a new place. His father sold their house to pay off the debts he had taken. Now they stayed in a rented house with a low maintenance cost. So much has changed in just in one year. The boy has become so mischievous that he robs milk packets from running vehicle. He and his local friends would rob anything like milk, fruits, biscuits and all that is eatables. Initially these kids are only prone to steal eatable but, if this is not stopped at the right time, it could make them worse.

Today something unusual happened. He was caught red-handed while stealing milk. His father was called by a constable to reach police station as earliest. His father was devastated. His 9 year boy has now experienced a police station. He paid the fine and brought him home. He didn’t know what to do with his son. After a few days of thinking he decides to remarry. Was this a correct decision? Could this decision help his son? Where is it going to take the boy, to right or again to wrong?

He failed in class five too. The school HM (Headmistress) calls his father and informs that they cannot allow the boy to continue in that school. They gave a LC (Leaving Certificate) with a promotion to 6^th standard; this was a compensation they could offer.

He was admitted to a new school. A school; where boys of his age would even puff cigarettes. Of, course not in the school premises. No doubt, his life was just going to get messier. He lived in a house where his step mother would not give him enough food, she would hide food and snack in cupboard and lock them. This taught him to cook for himself. His father would get at least one complaint against him daily from her. The father one day decides to leave him to a boarding school.

He yelled, he cried, he pleaded that he doesn’t want to go to a boarding school but all in vain….

A boarding school where there’s concession for an orphan. But, he wasn’t orphan, right? No, he was. He was half orphan. It gives me immense pain to write these lines but, this is the fact. This is how he was admitted to the boarding school. The worst days were yet to come. The boy was punished for silly thing just like the other boys there. The Brother who took care of the boarding would treat the boys very badly. They were put to work so much that could never be even imagined by someone. They weren’t even served with proper food after putting so much effort. They use to wear used clothes received through charity. He would phone his father from the boarding and cry to take him home back. His father would come on a Sunday every month not to take him back but just to meet him.

One day, he ran out of the boarding. Later, his father sent him back again after making him understand that it is for his good.

It’s been 3 years now since he left his home. The boarding school gave him friends for life but, along with good things he also got detached with his only family. He was not worried now whether his father comes to meet him or not, he doesn’t wait for his father’s call also. He is used to with this life. His friends are his family now. Just two more years and he will have to leave the boarding. This was his greatest fear now. He didn’t want to go back.

He failed 10^th. He don’t want to study anymore he told his father. He wants to become a musician, he would always say. His father encouraged him to become one because his son sang very well. His father tried to make him understand how important it is to study even if he wants to become a singer/musician. But the boy never listened.

He stays at home, cooks food for his father, completes all the house chores, cleaning the floor to washing the dishes he did everything with utmost perfection. That lady, his step-mother ran away with somebody. His father has only one support system now & that’s him. He is so detached with his father now that he does not understand a father’s importance in his life. He would not study, he would not work outside. His father turned 60 but, he still goes to work because of a son who is not serious about his life.

Where is he going on with his life? Is he serious about it? Has he ever thought what his identity without his father is? What will he do for living if he does not study?

He is becoming lean by the passing time. His father fails to understand why has become so thin. Once, chubby boy now has become so thin. “Is he not eating on time? Is he tensed but, for what? Is he sick?” His father got answer for all these questions.

The boarding and his friends gave him one more thing which he didn’t leave it there and come. He is addicted, to drugs. The intake of drugs has become so much that he has lost all his weight and charm. What does a father do now? His only son is addicted to drugs and he cannot help him get out of it.

I know, nowadays it is very common with the youngsters. But they are so naive that they do not know where it is taking them. The irony is that it increases you appetite so does the more consumption leads to addiction then memory deficiency, lack of impetus, dejection, obsession, nervousness, and lung problems.

Who got to be blamed for this? Is that his father, his so-called friends or his fate? I believe his story would have been different if his mother was alive. He would have been a better person. His life would have not been so miserable. But, what’s next? He got to change it, right? Not for his father, not for anyone else but for himself.

We get one life. Either, make it or destroy it. It is your choice, make it good or destroy it by blaming your fate.

 Life is beautiful. It indeed is breathtakingly beautiful. There is so much to live. The morning sun against your skin, the chirping of birds, the wind rustle against your cheeks, the crunch of leaves beneath your feet, the water engulfing you as you swim, the feeling when you do something great and your body just floods with happiness, people who smile at you, people who laugh with you, your friends, your close ones and the list goes on.

I just want to request the youngsters, live your life at the fullest. Accomplish a goal, a dream, make someone laugh, cheer someone up, listen to someone’s problems and someone would listened to yours, hug someone and get hugged by someone, fall hopelessly in love with someone. There are so many things that make life worth living. I bet you can make it worth living. Do not get lost.

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